Boldly Going

I am constantly reminded these days of how incredibly big my little boy is getting! I should say boys, but with three, I have a steady stream of hand me downs, waiting for the younger two. Cotton is the one that needs all the new clothes, whose feet are almost larger than mine, and who is eating more than one human his size should possibly be able to ingest at one sitting. I had to carry the child to the bus today.... I know, I know, he is eight, but the bus pulled up, and rain started pouring down in sheets, and lighting flashed out of no where, and Cotton was scared out of his mind. It was way too late to tell the driver to go, so I picked him up and plopped him on the bus. I cannot even convey the comedy this must have been for my neighbors. Me in my crocs and socks (don't hate, you know it's comfortable) pajama bottoms, and husband's coat. Cotton wrapped around my legs, too heavy to really carry just sort of drag, yelling, "outside it's raining!!! lol" He is nothing if not observant. he made it, but my back barely did. He is growing up.

Can I just tell you, that, more than anything, scares the hell out of me! I don't have a plan. I have no idea what this world is going to look like for an older Cotton. Things are really hard for him right now. He is going through "stuff" he is rigid and resistant in a way I have never really seen. I can only assume, this is part of the process. There is all this advice when they are little, there is all this hope, but now, the advice is running out. I don't know what to do, the experts never know what to do. But we are growing, like it or not, Mama needs a new game plan.