Let Them Be Little

One of the top diagnostic clinics in my state is taking a wait and see approach, when it comes to autism. They are no longer diagnosing children with milder symptoms until they are around four. I am sure this is not a hard and fast rule, as there are definitely clear cut cases before that age but in general their patients are not getting a label until they are older. IF they need one when they are older. These kids still get funding for therapies, through a medicaid waiver program, that includes all children with a delay in two areas greater than 25% which most kids on the spectrum would have no problem qualifying for. The big downside I see to this is for the folks who do not have insurance coverage, these evals cost upwards of $3000.00 a heavy payment for a giant question mark.

So, why am I talking about it? This is probably an unpopular statement, but I think we have a real problem with labels. I don't think that Cotton's autism is more or less than another persons autism, I just don't understand the justifications of labeling a very young child. As long as the family has support and seeks services for the delays, why slap such a heavy load on such a little person?

Everyone knows that children develop at different rates, but we are not giving our kids a chance to develop at all! What are we doing to our kids? I can only imagine the impact that some of these labels will have on our children as they grow older. I can only imagine what my self concept would be if my mother introduced me as her daughter with SPD, anxiety, and OCD, then proceeded to run down a list of what she was doing to help me, because I of course did not have these labels because she was a bad parent (just an example mom, you are great, and I don't have those labels....just saying.)

I particularly worry about our boys. Boys are different period. Boys are not designed to play pretty princess, and talk for hours with their little dolls. They are made to run, and jump and be LOUD and push and shove, and fight for the right to be alpha (okay maybe not that far.) They can also be shy and reserved, and it will not look the same in a boy as it would in a girl. Then there is the whole area of academics and school, don't get me started.

Of course this comes on the heels of having another child with a speech delay, and while I am not in denial about anything (he is getting therapy), I have no intention of labeling him either. I feel down to the core of my soul that this little boy simply needs time and patience. On one hand he is definitely language delayed, on the other he was effortlessly able to negotiate play with another little boy at the B&N Thomas train table only using the words, uh oh, choo choo, and a grunted "here." He is two, and funny, and charming, and bossy, and ill tempered. He is who he is, and I intend on letting him be that person with no apologies.