In Praise of Slowness

I just finished this book "Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting" by Carl Honore It was pretty good, although no groundbreaking information. I thought it was very interesting how we all need permission to step out of our kids lives. With my first child having significant issues in socialization, right from the start, I was in his face. Literally, all hours of the day were gently spent coaxing him into interaction. When Landon came along, I never gave him a second to breath. I carried him everywhere in my trusty sling, making every opportunity a learning moment. I never considered the time spent apart to be very significant to his development, although I did remember that my own parents spent a lot of time with us, but not really playing with us per se. Anyway, this book points out that parents often get in the way of a lot of learning and enjoyment, by trying to control everything, and make it a teaching moment, and ultimately all about the parent. Playing on ones own lends itself to greater creativity, problem solving, and social adeptness. If mom is not shouting over your shoulder to share every minute, you might decide to do so yourself if it will make your little brother stop screaming:)

I have found this to be true, by stepping back and letting my kids play, I find their imagination is much more spontaneous. I love to be in control, and I think it is time to step out of their world, and let them create their own. Even Cotton who does not have an obvious imagination has intricate and interesting "games" when he is left to his own devices. Lately he is taking all the stray leaves in the back yard and making dozens of piles (you know how he loves piles), then he moves all the piles onto the trampoline and all the kids jump them into oblivion. Landon is a late bloomer in the realm of full fledge imaginary play, he is now making up for lost time, and spends hours in imaginary worlds, and situations. Rev is his trusty sidekick, while not able to come up with things on his own yet, he is happy to be involved in whatever his big brother is constructing. The other day the boys were playing with chalk on the back porch, I was watching from the window (scandalous I know) Rev fell on Landon and the chalk broke in half, Landon of course freaked and pushed his brother, I resisted every instinct to run out there and solve this for them. At first I thought this is hopeless then Landon gave his brother a piece of chalk to make him stop crying and Cotton ran over took Rev's hand, and made him sign sorry...lol I don't have to say of course there are plenty of times a parent should jump in, and absolutely spend time with your kids....yada yada... but sometimes it is fun to just watch and see what they come up with.