Sunday, May 17, 2009

Defeated

Lately, I am just feeling defeated. I keep getting sick. Then, everyone else gets sick, and it ends up being a week and a half of not getting out of the house, endless laundry, and a mountain of to do's that are never quite getting done. My washer is on the fritz and is currently being held together with super glue. I feel like everyone and everything is being neglected, and I don't know where to start.
It's nothing catastrophic, just a lot of little things. I need to get ready for summer, for the kids being home more. I am worried that I am not going to be a good teacher for Cotton, and that he will loose all that he has gained this year. I am worried that I will be cranky and impatient, with Mr. C and not give him the tenderness and attention that he needs, and I am afraid that Rev is getting ignored in all areas. I like the rhythm of the school year, I really liked that Cotton has been thriving with less effort on my part than in the past. When he is home I have a constant feeling that I am not doing enough to help him, or the other boys. There is no end to a mother's work day, so where do you draw the line, pat yourself on the back and have a margarita. Most days no matter how much I have done, I end up feeling like it was not enough. Okay, done with my pity party.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How can there still be no comments? My updating thingy doesn't always show that you have posted "defeated." Maybe that's why.

I haven't been there so can't say anything wise. Probably all the other moms are too busy trying to do it all to catch up on blogs. I hope they comment soon!

Sister to Mom to JBG

mjsuperfan said...

Hang in there. Go get that drink!

Cassi said...

Oh I can relate to this! I feel like every time I cut myself some slack, it comes back to bite me in some way. But you do have to draw that line - daily - or else go insane. Take it from someone catching up on mommy blogs instead of cleaning my hovel of a house! :)

Anonymous said...

First, you are awesome.

AWESOME!

Remember - God gives us exactly what we need to get the things done in this world that make an eternal impact on HIS kingdom...it's HIS to-do list...not ours that is the important one, and I know you impress HIM everyday!

Love you!

mjsuperfan said...

Hope you are doing okay! Wish you could drop your boys off at my house and go get a pedicure.

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I blog about autism, albinism, my three "active" boys, and life a military family.